


Bells and Whistles

by Phoenix_Waves



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aromantic, Brotherly Bonding, Coda, Demiromantic Dean Winchester, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, First Kiss, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Or Maybe Greyromantic, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair, Spoilers for Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Supportive Sam Winchester, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_Waves/pseuds/Phoenix_Waves
Summary: "Shuddup, Sam," Dean barked, pointedly focusing on putting ketchup on his burger with such a forced air of 'nonchalant' bravado that it made Sam roll his eyes. "It's 2020, a dude can take a compliment from another dude without being a dick about it.""I know that, man, I'm just surprised that you know that," he huffed. "You know... I always thought that if you ever did have an actual 'gay thing', it would've been with Castiel."Across from him, Dean froze. Sam glanced up to find him staring back at him intently and he immediately felt like a dick. He was just about to apologize and backpeddle when Dean surprised him for the second time in five minutes:"What if we would've?"Or: Sam helps Dean work through some stuff before his reunion with Cas in Heaven.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 173





	Bells and Whistles

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed a reason that made some sort of sense and then plot bunnies took over my mind (and my day) and I had to write this. Hope this brings you some type of closure, too!

Sam leaned forward, fingers pressed against his lips in a poor attempt to hide the grin waiting to burst free at any moment. Their server, a perky, leggy blonde in spandex hot pants, had just bounded over to their corner booth, all excited-like, and plopped a tropical looking drink in front of Dean. 

Dean smirked up at her, turning on the charm. "Why, thank you, sweetheart. I'm flattered."

"Oh, no! It's not from me, hun." She chuckled and her bouncy blonde curls shook, too, as she shook her head and pointed towards a patron at the bar who, from this vantage point, Sam had watched making goo-goo eyes at his brother's back from the moment they'd walked in. 

He thought it only by the grace of Jack that he didn't completely lose it at the look on Dean's face when he spun around, face scrunched up in confusion, green eyes following her gaze across the bar to find, not some hot, young chick batting her lashes, but a big, burly bear of a man _winking_ at him. 

Sam waited for signs of his brother's impending conniption but he was surprised when Dean's only reaction (besides the fact that his face had turned beet red) was to raise his fruity drink in the dude's direction and nod his thanks. Yea, sure he couldn't quite seem to meet the guy's eyes, but... still!

" _Wow_!" Sam chuckled, surprised but impressed. 

"Shuddup, Sam," Dean barked, pointedly focusing on putting ketchup on his burger with such a forced air of ' _nonchalant'_ bravado that it made Sam roll his eyes. "It's 2020, a dude can take a compliment from another dude without being a dick about it."

"I know that, man, I'm just surprised that _you_ know that," he huffed. He dug into his salad, all content to follow Dean's lead and drop it until, just like it did earlier at the pie festival, his mind drifted back to his brother's angel. And yes -- Castiel had become one Sam's best friends, his honorary brother, too, but he had only ever been _Dean's_ angel. 

He peaked up at Dean, trying not to think too much about it, lest he got called " _Sad Sam_ " again, but it was too late. A decade's old thought that now felt too bittersweet sat front and center in his mind, clawing for purchase. Despite Dean's apparent progressiveness, he still didn't know if he should press his luck...

_Screw it._

"You know... I always thought that if you ever did have an actual 'gay thing', it would've been with Castiel."

Across from him, Dean froze. Sam glanced up to find him staring back at him intently and he immediately felt like a dick. For all Dean's talk about living life and being happy for Cas' sake, there was a storm of pain and turmoil clear as day behind his brother's eyes. _Too soon, Sam_. He was just about to apologize and backpeddle when Dean surprised him for the second time in five minutes:

"What if we would've?"

* * *

Dean was used to all of the stages of Sam's face whenever he was processing something and trying real hard to find the best Dr. Phil words to match the occasion (eyebrows disappearing into the luscious mane, mouth working like a fish out of water, eventually schooling his features blank before finally switching over to the serious, concerned look) but he really wished he would hurry it up already. Dean had _actually_ had his heart squeezed in his chest by a witch before but this felt worse and he was already regretting letting the words slip out of his mouth. 

"Dean... _Did_ you? You and Cas? I mean?"

Dean rolled his eyes. He knew he really should just let it go, laugh it off as a joke. Not only was asking Sam, of all people, basically giving him permission to open up a Pandora's box of emotional talks and chick flick moments, but the question itself was a dangerous one for someone who had been desperately trying _not_ to think about the whole potential dumpsterfuck of shit it stirred up. Cause really, what was even the point if he couldn't have Cas back? But there was a little (big) part of his sad, battered heart that couldn't let it go now that it was out there. 

"Just answer the question, Sammy."

Sam's eyes went wide with realization. 

"Did you want to?"

"Sam."

Sam's hands rose placatingly as if trying his best not to spook a skiddish cat. "Okay... Okay. Wait, are you trying to ask me if I would've supported you? Because, Dean, you know I love you and I loved Cas -- of course I would've supported you..."

He smiled a sad smile. It was good to know and he loved his brother all the more for it, but he felt like they had skipped a whole bunch of steps. He shook his head. "Nah, Sammy. I meant... If me and Cas had a thing. What do you think it would've looked like?"

Sam only looked even more confused so Dean sighed and decided to finally, _finally_ tell Sam the whole story about what happened just before the Empty took Cas.

" _Holy shit!_ I'm so sorry, Dean! I didn't know! _Shit..._ " He shook his head. "But, I mean, I guess it makes a whole lot of things make a whole lot of sense..." 

He shrugged and took a sip of his sweet ass drink, hoping it would wash away the lump in his throat -- it wasn't half bad.

"Yea, but the worse part was I didn't even get to say anything to that! I was just so fucking confused by what the fuck was happening and why, and then he was just...... _Gone_! It's bad enough as it is but, on top of that, I can't shake this feeling that I let him down, man! I don't even know what he wanted, can't ask him, but I still let him down." He huffed and looked away. 

Sam let out a long breath and Dean could tell he was measuring his words carefully. "That's... Shit, dude..." He shook his head, speechless. Finally, he frowned and asked, "But it still comes back to the question of would you have _wanted_ more with Cas?"

Sam was clearly still trying to ask him if he was a part of the LGBT alphabet soup but... Something was making it feel more complex than whether he liked dick or not because it wasn't Cas' dick that had him so conflicted (or at least no where near as much as he ever thought it would). It was bigger than that but he couldn't put his finger on why. 

_More with Cas._

"Maybe that's the whole damn problem. Maybe it didn't need to be more. I already knew Cas loved me, it didn't need to be said -- especially not when I felt like the only reason he was saying it in the first place was to say goodbye. Well God dammit if I didn't want to say goodbye!" He looked down at his fist to avoid the puppy dog eyes. When he spoke again it was hushed. "I just... I just hope to Jack that it was as clear to him as it was to me that I loved him with everything I got. I mean, c'mon, Sammy -- he was my best friend!"

Sam was frowning at him now. "Just friends? 'Cause it still sounds like Cas wanted to be more than just friends..."

Dean knit his brows together. What was Sammy not getting? "That's why I'm asking, you big doof! What does more look like when you've already gone to heaven and hell and searched purgatory _twice_ for each other? When you've died for each other and would do it again? When you already trust and confide in each other more than anyone? What? Are we supposed to hold hands and walk off into the sunset to prove something to somebody?"

Sam was doing the fish thing again. "Well... Yeah, Dean!" he spat out incredulously. "Yea, for starters you'd hold hands and walk off into the sunset and probably get a home and maybe start a family... All the bells and whistles! You know, relationship things!"

Dean took a moment to wonder if Cas would've actually wanted those things. The idea of the confused look on Cas' face trying to walk barefoot through sand for the first time did warm his heart a little. It all would've probably been pretty fun to figure out with Cas, now that he thought about it: stupid little dates that would've made Cas light up with awe like he always did whenever he experienced something new and small in the grand scheme of his many millenia; trying to navigate things that pale in light of saving the world but would probably leave them both stumped like decorating a home or adopting whatever pet Cas would've inevitably insisted on. It was just... he'd always kinda thought that those were things girls and, apparently, Sam were obsessed with but that he could live without. Yea, he'd had that with Lisa but it wasn't really his jam. He loved Lisa -- she had been a good friend to him and getting to have Ben as a son, if even for a little while, was one of the things he was most grateful for in his life -- but he didn't particularly see the hype about the rest of it. Suburban life was boring and double dates with neighbors you fake care about was weird as fuck, but that's an adult relationship for you, right?

He shrugged. "Sam, you know I've never really done the whole relationship thing and I guess that's part of why I never really thought that much about whatever it was Cas and me had going between us. I mean, I stopped questioning the whole 'profound bond' thing a decade ago and we just kinda... you know... skipped past all the meaningless stuff and got right down to all the soul bonding stuff."

Sam was looking at him like he'd grown an extra head. "Holy shit... Dean!" 

Just as he turned around, fully expecting to see a demon or some other shit that Jack was supposed to be keeping under lock and key, Sam asked him something stupid. 

When he sniffed his pits, Sam just rolled his eyes and tossed his napkin at him. "A-Ro-Man-Tic! I said, have you ever considered that you might be aromantic? Or maybe even demiromantic? Or shoot, I think there's a greyromantic, too!"

"Ok, now you're just making shit up!"

"No, Dean -- There's not just different sexual orientations but also romantic orientations to think about. You know how I don't usually have sex unless I have some kind of romantic attraction?"

"You mean how you so easily get the worse case of pussywhooped known to man?"

He rolled his eyes. "That is _not_ what happens! That's actually a normal part of dating, Dean!"

"Ehhh... I don't know about that, Sammy. You were liable to start drinking demon blood for some good cookie and I wouldn't exactly call that normal," he said, smugly. 

" _Hey!_ Jerk."

"Bitch." He smirked but decided to take it easy, leaving out the: _or risk being turned into a werewolf or run away and adopt a dog with some rando while your brother's lost in purgatory or bring their ghost back from the dead_.

"Anyways, where I need romantic love, you don't seem to in the same ways. Maybe you're just content with familial love and platonic love. Maybe you just feel those so much stronger than romantic love." He shrugged too casually.

"What are you talking about? I'm romantic! I'm downright charming!" he smirked, _handsomely_ , he might add. 

"Really? So titles and commitment and waking up next to the same person every morning and pillow talk and promises and future planning sound like a good time to you?" He shook his head, eyes rolling up to the ceiling and huffing out a laugh, "PDA and snuggling and 'chick-flick moments' over just sex?"

Dean just stared at him blankly which Sam seemed to take as confirmation judging by the shit eating grin on his face. But then his face softened. 

"Aromantic means you want nothing to do with any of it. Demiromantic means you only want romantic connection if there's a deep emotional bond. Greyromantic means that you have romantic attraction rarely and only under certain circumstances. So if you're beating yourself up because you'd never considered 'more' before Cas finally let you know that he did, maybe it's just because you're just not used to thinking about... _more._ "

Dean stared back at him, a fraction of the weight lifting off of his heavy heart because that actually made sense. 

"Maybe you just don't need more. Maybe you don't want it. Maybe you do. Now," Sam's voice was gentle, "when you think about all those relationship things, _would_ you have wanted them with Cas?"

Dean's heart clutched and he swallowed because, now that he thought about it, the only complaint he ever had about his angel was that he wasn't around enough. That was easy enough to chalk up to Dean's protective side and, knowing how much trouble Cas was bound to get into when he was left up to his own devices, made sense he'd want to keep him close. But there was also the fact that, whenever there was something he was excited about or found funny or cool, the first person Dean wanted to share it with was Cas. Maybe it wasn't just because his friend learning new things was kinda cute but because him learning new, little known parts of Dean (like the bits and pieces of his soul) and still loving him made him feel so God damn good... 

Cas had met his mom and she loved him like her own. Dean had practically adopted Cas' son as his own and they _had_ started a family. What if at the end of those long days they _had_ come together instead of going their separate ways? Sharing a bed. Him trying to stay up all night talking the angel's ear off about stuff that wasn't monsters. Giggling like the school boys that they never got to be about stupid stuff they each liked like Star Wars or Honeybees. Taking comfort in Cas watching over him, but actually from the comfort of his arms...

And that brought him to the elephant in the room that Sam, who was watching him with big, expectant puppy dog eyes, had graciously let him avoid thus far: Dean wasn't gay. Or at least he'd never considered himself gay enough to ever think about trading in his second favorite type of pie for... _sausages_. Of course he could appreciate when a guy was hot and, sure, maybe he kept a short, mental _would you ever_ list running (of which a certain badass angel with constant bedroom eyes had long been the front runner), but Sam was right... Sex had never been about an emotional attachment for him and a nice, warm slice of _pie_ with an interesting stranger had always been enough. And this was _Cas!_ Cas was too damn important to ever risk fucking things up just for the sake of getting their rocks off. But now, sitting in this dive bar in the middle of Akron thinking about having chick flick moments with an angel, his mind drifted to the thought of him beneath Castiel -- not just _fucking,_ like he's used to doing -- but doe eyed and awestruck and safe, so safe and so loved as he's gently rocked into and--

"FUCK!"

Sam and the waitress, who had chose that exact moment to pop by, both jumped in surprise at his outburst but he couldn't care less because his mind was spinning. 

Fuck a _'Deep emotional bond'_ , he and Cas' was profound! They could've had that! Not just _more_ , they could've had it _all..._ They could've--

* * *

Sam hurriedly tossed some cash on the table and rushed out to find Dean -- who moments ago had made a dash for it -- sitting in the impala, bent over the steering wheel and clearly having a moment. He waited in the shadows of the bar's windblown awning, knowing that Dean would let him know when he was ready to let him in. 

He was feeling kinda bad for opening all this up... Yea, it was cool to _finally_ have some answers, but now what? Cas was gone and his brother had just realized that he doesn't love right and, now that he finally realized he could've had something more and actually wanted it, how was he ever supposed to get that again? How, when it had taken someone to pull him out of literal hell and withstand multiple apocalypses with him the first go round? He felt _himself_ freaking out because he just wanted Dean to be happy! _Truly_ happy -- not this pretend crap he'd been putting on ever since Jack fixed the world. Cas was right: if anyone deserved true happiness, it was Dean. 

It was another 10 minutes before Dean sat up and started thrumming his thumb comfortingly along Baby's steering wheel and Sam knew that was his cue. 

Dean stared straight ahead as Sam climbed in but he could tell his eyes still looked weak and red and he wasn't surprised that, when he finally spoke, his voice was still a little too raw. 

"Do you think I'll see him again, Sammy?"

Sam looked heavenwards and sent up a silent prayer to Jack or Castiel in the Empty or whoever had ears open that they _find a fucking way!_ before he reached out to squeeze Dean's shoulder. 

"I really hope so, Dean."

Dean just nodded fervently and Sam got the impression that he was trying to find some type of resolve. 

"Come on, Sam. Let's go find those kids."

* * *

Dean listened to the hum of Baby's engine on the open road and smiled. He wasn't exactly sure how Heaven worked yet, he just knew that he had a destination in mind and this indescribable faith that he would get there when he was ready. 

He hadn't had a lot of time to think about what Sam had said between their talk at the bar and his run in with shitty vampires in shitty masks but, if Dean really had to die in the stupidest way he could possibly think of, then he was praying that Jack would at least just let him have this one chance...

And with that thought, the beach appeared before him with long stretches of sand and the clear sky already beginning to be dappled with faint hues of pinks and purple. 

He parked facing the ocean and got out to sit on the hood, taking a moment to breathe and calm his nerves. 

_Castiel, who art also here in heaven, you can stop hiding now and bring your holy, feathery ass. Please._

He heard the whoosh of feathers and felt the dip of the hood sinking beneath him but kept his gaze forward, almost too afraid that he'd somehow been mistaken. 

"Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Dean."

The familiar, deep rumble was tinged with caution, maybe guilt, but it still felt like balm to Dean's soul. He found himself grinning like an idiot and shook his head before he let himself lean sideways into the angel, inhaling the familiar faint scent of Jimmy's old fabric softener that, for some reason, never went away mixed with thunder and oceans and celestial light. 

He could almost _feel_ Cas frowning down at him, tilted head and squinty eyes and all, confused by Dean so readily invading his personal space. 

"I missed you, buddy," he said, finally looking up to see the shy tug at the corner of Castiel's lips. 

"And I you, Dean. I wished to see you as soon as Jack released me from the Empty but he's been very insistent about order and gatekeeping and, while he assured me that I'd see you soon, Dean, I really didn't think he meant _quite_ so soon..."

Dean sat up and laughed at the annoyed look on his face. 

"Yea, yea -- sorry to blow your sacrifice so soon but, to be honest, Earth just doesn't feel right without any angels in it and I needed mine back."

"Dean--"

"Take off your shoes, Cas," he said, bending down to unlace his own boots. 

"Why?" Oh yeah, full squinty face. 

He smirked and hopped down into the sand, ignoring Cas' furrowed brow and watchful eyes as he walked around to pull a blanket out of the trunk. When he returned, it was to find Cas still rooted to his spot on the impala's hood in full suit, tie, trench coat, and dress shoes and, while it was bizarre attire for a beach, it was so refreshingly Castiel that Dean couldn't help but smile. 

He bent down to take off Cas' shoes and socks himself, surprised by how intimate of an act it suddenly seemed. Cas must've been thinking the same because his blue eyes were wide and fixed on Dean's and he seemed to have forgotten to breathe which, regardless of whether or not he actually needed to do so, still had Dean grinning pretty goofily. 

He reached for his hand and Cas took it, pure blue eyes staring fondly into green and, all at once, Dean felt absolved and good and safe and _home._ He let his eyes drop to the plump pink lips he'd never let himself stare at too long before and felt emboldened. He actually _wanted_ this if Cas did...

"You want the bells and whistles, Cas?"

Cas blinked, slowly, lost in Dean's gaze. He unconsciously licked his lips and his eyes darted to Dean's and back up. "Dean, I'm afraid I don't understand how small, grating instruments might be relevant right now."

Dean reached up to let the backs of his fingers brush lightly against his cheek and smiled when Cas leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut far too reverently for Dean to deserve. 

"Cas, when you said that the one thing you wanted, you knew you couldn't have..." He swallowed and now Cas' eyes were on him again, guarded and expectant. "You do know you've always had me, right?"

"Dean..." 

"No, Cas... You know I'm not one for chick flick moments but I need you to know, in case it wasn't obvious before: I love you, too. More than I've ever loved anyone besides maybe Sammy, Cas. And I mean it with all of my heart, all of my soul. I. Love. You." He punctuated the words by crowding closer until his forehead was resting on Cas', their lips mere centimeters away, both breathing too heavy to be standing still. "And if you'd like more, I think I'd like that too. Just be patient with me, buddy."

Cas nodded, speechless, but he just looked so awestruck and so perfect and Dean felt his heart swell before he closed the gap, letting his lips press gently to Cas'. And then he did it again. And again. Just chaste, sweet little things that made him feel giddy. And Cas was smiling. Honest to goodness smiling! 

"Seriously, Cas, pet names and sappy dates and cuddling all the time and shit... if heaven has a Facebook then I'm even down to change my relationship status to touched by an angel -- you just say the word! If you want it, I want it."

And now he was laughing! Wait, Cas never laughed... He was feeling pretty smug about his comedic prowess until he caught on that Cas was actually laughing _at_ him.

"Dean, wait-- ok, now, what exactly did Sam do to you?" he chuckled, clearly recognizing Sam's handiwork. 

He shrugged. "Nothing. He just made me realize that I do this weird thing where I look at friendship, sex, and relationships like they're never supposed to... I don't know, cross streams! And maybe I'd actually _like_ to cross streams with you if you'd like to." Cas looked put out by his choice of words but Dean just smirked and raised one eyebrow. "What? You don't like my attempt at being all romantical?"

"While I'm glad to know that my feelings are requited, you do know that I don't require any of what you suggested, right?" He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, joy shining bright in his eyes as he stared into the depths of him. "Dean, I'm just overjoyed to have you like this -- your soul is so beautiful, so _open_. Open for _me_."

Dean looked down then smiled shyly up at Castiel through his lashes, a bright feeling building in his chest. Cas nosed at him teasingly and Dean had to marvel at this happy, playful side of his angel. It surprised him just as much as Cas' tears had on that last day in the bunker, but this he'd give anything to bask in everyday. Is this what came with _more_?

"I mean, I'm all for keeping this part," he continued, pecking Dean sweetly on the lips again, a smirk playing on his own when he pulled away (which tugged at something in Dean's gut). "And adding more. But since you managed to get yourself killed mere months after my final sacrifice, we do seem to have a lifetime before us in the closest thing that heaven has ever been to paradise. I believe we have time to figure out what _more_ works for us. Now can we please just go and find your new home already and enjoy greasy burgers and beer? Dear _._ "

Dean chuckled and shook his head fondly. "I'm such a bad influence on you. Alright, sweetcheeks--" he said, leaning down to plant a smooch that was a little harder and lasted a little longer. "I just have a few conditions."

"Is that so?" Cas used his knees around Dean's hips to pull him in closer between his thighs, a wry smirk on his lips. 

"Yea," Dean kissed him again, this time nipping at Cas' bottom lip and soothing it with his tongue. Wow, this really did feel natural. What the fuck had they been waiting for? "Firstly, this is awesome. Much more of this."

"Agreed," Cas bit his own lip, eyes glinting and hands now on Dean's back and pulling him even closer, just so glad to finally be able to touch.

"Second, how about we make it _our_ home?"

At that, Cas looked truly touched and paused his wandering hands to pull back and search Dean's eyes. "Are you sure, Dean?"

Dean reached for Cas' chin, tilting his head before letting their lips crash in a crushing kiss this time, finally letting his tongue slip past to claim Cas' mouth. When they finally pulled apart, breathless, pupils blown, and -- _oh, that was hard angel dick rubbing against his --_ Dean kissed his forehead and rocked his hips once. Cas' actually moaned and _Holy Shit_ was that hot!

"Yes, Cas, I'm sure. And last thing: one walk off into the sunset."

Cas frowned and looked down at the sand as if it had offended him. 

"Dean, walking in the sand without footwear does not sound pleasant."

"I know! You're gonna freak which is why it's gonna be hilarious!"

Cas rolled his eyes, reminding Dean, again, just how much of a bad influence he was on the angel as he gave him one more lingering peck. 

"Hey, if we keep this up it's gonna be sex on the beach instead of long walks." 

Cas did the head tilt right on cue. "Is that a possibility?"

Dean chuckled, grabbing his hand and yanking until Cas was standing in front of him, frowning down at his feet and lifting each one awkwardly like an overgrown toddler. 

"I don't know yet, babe. Let's just take it one step at a time," he said, reaching down to grab Cas' hand and actually urging him to put one foot in front of the other. 

"Ok, Dean."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this big ol' ball of fluff! This is my first time writing Destiel so I hope I did the boys justice! Comments, feedback, and kudos are, of course, welcome and appreciated (you guys are already making my week) 😊


End file.
